Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens
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One definition of feeling old is that sensation you get when the #1 album on the Billboard 200 is the soundtrack to a TV movie you never heard of. And so the response of most college-aged adults to High School Musical — which is regularly the most watched movie on cable whenever Disney decdes to re-run it, and has spawned a cast album that has topped the charts not once but twice — was to scowl and wonder aloud how their younger siblings’ generation has suddenly taken over the universe. It’s been a generation — or at least an administration — since the Disney Channel cancelled its New Mickey Mouse Club, thereby creating the most profitable unemployment line in entertainment history: the one that included Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, and, of course, the future Mrs. Federline. That cast became so famous that it’s easy to forget they were all once unknowns. Disney’s dream factory may have gone dormant for a few years, during which period American Idol cornered the amateur-singer market and Kidz Bop undercut playskool-friendly Top-40 by recycling adult hits as G-rated pop. But High School Musical is a reminder of what Disney still does best. It’s a breakout vehicle for teen talents whose biggest Google results are imdb entries for The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
Anyone who cares about pop culture would do well to examine HSM for clues to the immediate future of music and television: some 24 million discrete viewers watched the movie before its home-video release last week; soundtrack sales have eclipsed 2 million, and the DVD sold over 400,000 copies in its first day of release. That’s right: 400,000 in a fucking day, dude. Its single, “Breaking Free,” topped the download charts even though Disney gave the song away as a promotional mp3; likewise, DVD sales do not appear to have been hindered by Disney’s decision to release the movie early as a digital download on iTunes. A High School Musical sequel is in the works, as is a Broadway adaptation, and actual high schools are clamoirng for the sheet music so they can put on their own productions. The young-adult novelization is zipping up the Times bestseller list. Once again, young minds have chosen safe, low-budget, formulaic entertainment over older, smarter, more cynical options — as well they should, because that’s what kids are supposed to do, dammit. Adults can take heart in recalling how that tendency has been exploited and celebrated by great songwriters from the Brill Building’s denizens up through Max Martin and Linda Perry. A Pulitzer-winning creation HSM isn’t, but if you think grown-ups aren’t watching, you’re crazy. Twenty minutes of Googling have failed to reveal the songsmiths behind “What I’ve Been Looking For” and “Breaking Free,” but if anyone knows where to find them, please give them Liz Phair’s phone number.
It’s too late now, anyway: given HSM’s saturation of the marketplace, you will be at some point forced to watch the damned thing. Here’s five reasons why that experience won’t totally suck.
1. Olesya Rulin as Kelsi.
As a movie musical, High School Musical blows: popular jock meets beautiful brainiac; cringe-inducing production numbers and chaste life lessons ensue. But the musical within the musical rocks. Ostensibly composed by “sawed-off Sondheim” Kelsi Nielsen (Olyesa Rulin) — as the token theater geek, she looks like a pint-sized Amanda Palmer wearing Brian Viglione’s bowler — the two songs sung by Troy and Gabriella while auditioning for the high school’s winter musicale ring completely true. If the performances of “What I’ve Been Looking For” and “Breaking Free” stand out, it’s nothing compared to the real-life cattle call that yeilded Disney’s new franchise: “There were hundreds of us auditioning,” Vanessa Anne Hudgens told the Edmonton Sun. “The big callback elimination audtion lasted seven and a half hours. It was nerve-racking.” If the HSM songs had actually been written by a 15-year-old, that teenager would totally look like Kelsi. Also, even though she’s got all of, like, six lines, Rulin has a) the most rock and roll name of anyone in the film, and b) the best resume ever: her previous roles came in Halloweentown High, Mobsters and Mormons, and Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws.
2. It’s gay friendly?
In Disney’s don’t-ask-don’t-tell universe, nobody’s openly out of the closet. But a musical without a flamer is like a pizza without the cheese. So let’s talk about Ryan Evans: a flamboyant musical-theater enthusiast who sings duets with his sister and has a sissy fit fantasizing about Ashton Kutcher? Definitely homo. Ditto for the basketball player who bakes.
3. Instructions included.
Why wait for your film to become a cult singalong favorite when you can broadcast a karaoke-ready version on TV and double your ratings? In case you missed the sing-a-long version when Disney repeated it to an HSM-crazed cable audience, it’s included on the DVD — and so is an instructional video outlining Troy Bolton’s dance moves in the production numbers. (Arthur Murray-style floor charts are downloadable on the film’s web site.)
