It turns out, you can be pretty snarky in 140 characters. I've been on Twitter for a couple of years now (follow me at twitter.com/dbernstein), and use it for a variety of purposes: breaking bits of political news; passing along news or commentary of interest; linking to my articles and blog posts; offering brief observations and commentary; interacting with readers and political junkies; and of course, cracking humorous one-liners. This last category is where I have the most fun, usually at the expense of politicians and other public figures.
This year, with the gubernatorial and other state-wide races, most of those quips have been about Massachusetts pols; Boston city elections held more of my attention in 2009, and I suspect that in 2011 I'll take more shots at Republican Presidential candidates.
I've sifted through my output for the year, and pulled out 50 of my favorite Tweets. For those of you who follow me (a number that more than tripled over the course of the year), this may be a fun trip down memory lane; for those who don't, perhaps it will spur you to do so. Or, maybe not -- it's entirely possible that I amuse only myself.
I am posting them here, unedited, as they originally appeared, and in chronological order. I've resisted the urge to provide explainers or context; I think they're pretty self-explanatory. (For instance, the first one was sent from the Scott Brown victory party on election night.)
For those unfamiliar with Twitter conventions... "RT" means "retweet"; what follows is the ID of the original Tweeter, and their Tweet (often edited for space). My comment on their Tweet appears before the RT. Phrases starting with a "#" are "hashtag" identifiers; for example, I usually tag Tweets about state politics with "#mapoli" and Tweets about the governor's race with "#magov". Some are more inventive.
Enjoy!
Big boos when Coakley came onscreen initially - forgive
them, they don't have much practice winning –19 Jan
Sad campaign-finance entry: Martha Coakley for Senate Comm.,
$1165 expenditure on 1/19/10 (election day) for "confetti machine"
–24 Feb
I missed the end of health care summit -- did the ghost of
Ted Kennedy appear and chase the Republicans around the room? –25 Feb
Psst - there's a clue in her twitter name! RT @karyn4treasurer: I'm making an
important political announcement on Monday, March 1... –27 Feb
In MA Auditor's race, I've decided to pronounce Guy Glodis's
1st name French, Gee with a hard 'g'. All my posts should be read that way. –17
Mar
"Rich Davey" (the new MBTA GM) should be my
hip-hop name. –22 Mar
How will we be able to tell the difference? RT @datafordonkeys: Breaking - Mihos
tells supporters on Cape he is out of #MAgov
race. #MApoli
–1 Apr
Top of my head, five all-time Mass. musical performers I'd vote for: J
Mascis, Dickie Barrett, Rich Gilbert, Jonathan Richman & Akrobatik –8 Apr
Newt's "secular-socialist machine" theory is
wrong. Checked w/ my alt-media brethren, and it's still a secular
anarcho-syndicalist machine. –9 Apr
BTW, the anti Tea Party protesters here are just as white as
the Tea Partiers –14 Apr
Kamal Jain is limiting himself to two terms as st auditor.
In that spirit, I am limiting myself to 8 yrs as Red Sox starting CFer #magopcon
–17 Apr
Told @timforgovernor
today that I've been tweeting with his daughter @MakenaCahill. I really hope he knows
what that means. –17 Apr
Thank goodness Monday's almost here; dying in anticipation
of @MAhadenough launch. Hope it
involves setting fire to things! #mapoli #magov –16
May
Valuable insight about me: I follow VT guv candidate @BrianDubie, and every time he Tweets,
seeing his name makes me laugh. –18 May
Steve Murphy asked no Qs of Signori --statewide campaign got
your tongue, councilor? –2 Jun
If I was mayor: "No wager on series, b/c LA has nothing
Boston
wants." RT @WBUR: LA mayor
challenges Menino to a bet: http://wbur.fm/anYJHr
--4 Jun
I don't want to say that DiNucci has been Auditor a long
time, but this year the office upgraded to Abacus 2.0 #MADem10
–5 Jun
Battery dying, (possibly of
boredom...) #MADem10 –5 Jun
In bocce, maybe. RT @TinoCapobianco: @dbernstein Hey do you think Mayor
Menino could beat Scott Brown in 2012? –15 Jun
@pewresearch
sez: 58% of US
evang.s expect Christ's return by 2050. http://pewrsr.ch/bvrkKl & I say: then why so worried
about US debt? –15 Jul
Sciacca Shocker! Conway
goes "Post"-al as chrome dome underling grabs reins at rag #shouldabeentodaysHeraldcover –21 Jul
Should always be obvious that the facts are not all in, when
the only facts in so far come from Breitbart. –21 Jul
At MA Young Dems diversity panel. Touching to think that one
day these will be officeholders yelling at me for something I wrote about them.
–28 Jul
My best guess: All casino-related maneuvering on Beacon Hill at this point is not about passage, but about
where blame goes for non-passage. –30 Jul
Biting... my... tongue... RT @OfficialSGP: Congresswoman Michele
Bachmann will be our keynote speaker at the inaugural Smart Girl Summit –5 Aug
You mean, right before the poll? RT @ppppolls: Ron Paul does 5 pts better
with Republicans who have smoked Marijuana than those who haven't –13 Aug
Every time I see a reference to Obama's stop today in Menomonee Falls, a muppet goes "doo-dooo,
do-doo-doo" in my head. –16 Aug
Moderator tells audience not to applaud - said nothing about
vuvuzelas!!! –16 Aug
Serious question for my #mapoli #magov
Tweeps: Paul Loscocco -- WTF? –17 Aug
DP says CB isn't evil, just because he has bad values. Bad,
amoral, evil values. #bzdebate #magov –7
Sep
DP: Do they say 'props' in 'the neighborhood' of Milton or
the Berkshires? #bzdebate #magov –7
Sep
Ah, the last few days before an election in Massachusetts --
so little time, so many allegations of dirty tricks to look into! #mapoli
–11 Sep
You call it election-day poll-site campaigning; I call it
middle-aged men going around to middle schools trying to make new friends.
Creepy. –14 Sep
Jeff Perry wins 7 more weeks of questions about the
strip-search incidents.... #ma914 –14 Sep
Wait - The Baker camp is HAPPY that the worst political
strategist in the country is no longer advising Tim Cahill? #magov #mapoli
–23 Sep
At Charlie Baker's 'Women for Baker' event (or "Chicks
for Chuck," as I call it). #magov #mapoli
–30 Sep
At Baker HQ for presser to answer stunned voters' burning
question: Paul who? #magov #mapoli –1 Oct
Yes, it's my birthday. Debating how to celebrate -- should I
go out and smash it like Oh My God, or light it up like it's dynamite? –7 Oct
The Massachusetts
governor's race has turned into the Beatles' breakup saga. #magov #mapoli
–8 Oct
For simplicity and clarity, I have decided to start
referring to the former Cahill consultants collectively as "the
Yobgoblins." #magov –13 Oct
I used to misspell Mitt Romney the same way. RT @bluemassgroup: IL-Gov Gr cand. Rich
Whitney misspelled on voting machines as "Rich Whitey." –14 Oct
Obama said to text GOTV to 89800, and the Patrick campaign
team appeared to simultaneously orgasm. #magov #Obama –16
Oct
Either Baker is on the same cold medicine I am, or he seems
to have lost the will to campaign. #magov #wmadebate
–21 Oct
Boy, one more bad poll for Charlie Baker and Loscocco's
gonna have to leave him too. #magov #mapoli #bandwagonjumper –22 Oct
Stein: I don't read, b/c I already know everything. #magov –25
Oct
BREAKING: Baker camp sues Yobgoblins, seeks protective order
to prevent disclosure of Charlie's mole. #magov #nomomole
–26 Oct
Apparently Hudak has dropped his lawsuit against Tierney
after seeing documents that prove he is, in fact, a kook. #mapoli #ma6 –27 Oct
"Milton's OK I guess,
but it's no Quincy."
= Things NOT to say at tonight's Gov. Patrick media holiday party. #magovpartyNoNos –9 Dec
Scotto must be so freakin' jealous of the GOP Senators who
can just vote no on everything without thinking about it.... –9 Dec
More Bill Hudaks. --MassDems #MASantaList
–22 Dec