DOWNLOAD: Harry & The Potters and Uncle Monsterface, "We Took a Gamble" (mp3)
Day nine:Tanks! Helicopters!; Monsterface superfans; bowling-alley cuisine; a late-night discussion about zombies
Paul: We are traveling towards Fort Campbell, KY which is the second largest military base in the country. We just scheduled this show only six days ago and we’re playing at a teen center on the base. You’re probably wondering what would possess Harry and the Potters to play at a military base. Aren’t we all about sticking it to the Man and isn’t this about as close to the Man as we can get? But if you know us, you’ll also know that we can’t turn down weirdo opportunities like this. On the surface, it certainly seems like a recipe for disaster, but we are holding out hope that maybe there would be a whole bunch of impressionable army brats here and maybe we could brighten and enlighten the base for just a brief moment. And if that didn’t happen, then we figured that it would probably be some insane sort of Spinal Tap-esque experience and how could we turn that down? Either way, this should be one of those life-changing nights.
Jesse: The catch was we wouldn’t be getting paid, even though a cover would be charged. We were all a little apprehensive about where this money might go. Paul got on the phone with the promoter. “See, we want to make sure that money isn’t just going back to the Man, ’cause we’re all about sticking it to the Man.” The money, it turns out, went towards keeping open the base’s 24/7 Youth Recreation Center open, which seemed a good enough excuse for us to do it. Plus, we’d all seen This Is Spinal Tap.
Marty Allen: The song we made claims that our gamble on Fort Campell didn't pay off, but really, it did. All told, this was a ridiculous and amazing experience.
Paul: We have to stop and register ourselves to enter the base. I tell the lady at the desk that Uncle Monsterface is a Dave Matthews cover band.
Joe: A tank! Tanks are the treasures of army bases! Where else can you see a tank? I’m pretty sure this trip was worth it just to see this tank. I’m pretty satisfied. The road leading up to the base is littered with tanks and helicopters. They are the sentries that will watch over us tonight as we assault the base with wizard rock. Let’s hope they are decommissioned. I’m still satisfied. Tanks are big.
Paul: Uncle Monsterface is doing their usual pre-show freak-out over where to put what and how to set up the stage. I try to convince them to chill out and come bowling with us. We weren’t actually going bowling, but I had been told that the bowling alley would be a “good” place to get dinner. The bowling alley is, in fact, not a good place to get dinner.
Joe: We’re taking pictures of me with pizza!
Jesse: 24/7, I suspect, is merely a catchy name: I don't think the large rec room, which has the pleasant antiseptic scent of my elementary school and contains a small stage, some vending machines, tables, and inexplicable barber and beauty supplies, could possibly remain open later than midnight (and that's just weekends). 4H posters and Polaroids of wholesome past events line the walls, as well as smiling pictures of the Colonel and Major in charge of the military installation. In their duty uniforms they looked at the ready to judge a pie-eating contest or be on guard against agitators at a three-legged race. The room has two means of entry, a door marked "The Outer Limits" on the right and "Beyond Da Limits" on the left; somehow managing to be embarrassing and dated to at least three generations of people.
Marty Allen: Rolling in, we were accosted by a curious young gentleman. "Are you guys Uncle Monsterface?”
"Ayuh."
"The first time I heard you, I had no idea what to make of you. The second
time I heard you, I knew you were awesome. Now I just want to sacrifice
babies to you!"
Apparently he knew more of the words to our songs than I do. His enthusiasm was unbridled, and it seemed as if he brought some friends, too.
Jesse: Joshua, scraggly haired, bespectacled and wearing a heavy black trench coat, seems sent by central casting to represent "disenfranchised youth." Excited almost to the point of hysteria, we discover in him Uncle Monsterface's biggest fan. He's learned all the songs and had been hyping us to his peers for weeks. "So you can tell I'm not getting laid tonight!" he boasts.
