CLOTHES OPTIONAL?
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have a wonderful relationship with a man. We have been living together for four years and we are happy in many ways. There is one thing that he does that I am not so comfortable with. He regularly hangs around the house totally naked. This seems completely natural to him. Perhaps I am prudish or grew up in different cultural circumstances, but I’ve just never been entirely comfortable with casual nudity. I did try to express my feelings about this once but he didn’t seem to get what the problem was, so I dropped it. Do you think that I should be more assertive about my unhappiness with this or should I consider it a “hang-up” that is my own problem?
--C.C. from Warwick
Dear C.C.,
Dr. Lovemonkey imagines that you have a fairly substantial income, as hanging around naked in the wintertime would indicate that you are paying quite a bit for heating. Since the “let’s save money by wearing clothes” argument is probably not a winner in your household, I would suggest that you bring the topic up again and let him know how unhappy you are with his wild kingdom approach to lolling about the house. If your relationship is as happy and solid as you indicate, it would seem to me that he would be willing to compromise. Your “hang-up” seems understandable to me.
YOUNG LOVE
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have huge tits and a nice firm round ass, and I seem to turn my boyfriend on. We are both 16 years old and have been seeing each other for four months. The problem is that when we have sex, he’ll get hard and when we get down to having intercourse, once he puts his dick into me, he’ll start humping. About 15 seconds later, he’ll start to get soft and then it’s over. What’s up with this?
--Confused in Cranston
Dear Confused,
Congratulations on your huge tits and nice firm round ass. What’s up is that you seem to know very little about the sexuality of 16-year-old boys and what is happening is all too normal. But, more significant is the fact that you are both 16 and too young to be sexually active. Slow down and be more careful. I am sure you will have many years to share the enjoyment of your huge tits and nice firm round ass but, in Dr. Lovemonkey’s estimation, at 16, you have jumped the gun.
ASK HIM
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I want to know if a guy would find it “un-masculine” if his partner wanted to put a vibrator up his butt? Guys rear-end girls and it is very pleasurable if done right. Would it feel as good for a man?
--L.D.
Dear L.D.,
Rather than discussing this with Dr. Lovemonkey, you might want to discuss this with the guy whose buttocks you would like to penetrate. Some men would find this pleasurable and some would not. You’d have to ask him about that.
INNOCENT UNTIL . . .
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a public defender. It is my job and, I believe, it is my calling. Frequently in social situations, when people find out what I do for a living, they say things like, “Aren’t most of your clients guilty? Is it really necessary to spend tax money to get guilty people off?” I find myself lecturing them about the Constitution, the adversary system, etc., but I know that I sound tiresome. What can I say that is concise and accurate to get these people to understand why what I do matters?
--Frustrated Attorney
Dear Frustrated,
There’s probably nothing that can briefly explain your work to non-legal types who don’t get it. But maybe you could tell them about the many people who have been convicted of crimes for which they were later found to be not guilty (Barry Scheck’s Innocence Project should be a good source) and how making it more difficult for those accused of crimes to receive adequate legal representation only makes this more likely.